Subway Etiquette

[schmennifer]

Re: giving up seats to elderly

One time that I got up for an elderly woman with a cane, she kindly told me to keep the seat and that she was just fine standing. I stood up and we went back and forth, trying to offer each other the seat. Since it seemed that neither of us wanted to sit, a man who was standing nearby made a move for it. Then the old lady started hitting him with her cane and yelling, "She gave that seat to me!" and then she finally sat down with a big "Harumph!"

[goldfish boy]

But the people who stand right in front of the door and refuse to move for people getting in or out fully deserve to be shoved out of the way.

I've come to believe that these people WANT to be shoved.  I don't mean the numbskulls who try to enter before everyone's exited, I mean the ones who just stand right in front of the open door and refuse to move to one side when people clearly want to get off. 

A lot of these guys (and they've ALWAYS been male, in my experience) have been kind of puny, so it can't be some kind of tough-guy intimidation thing.  So I think they just somehow get their jollies from being shoved around.

[photomill]

Male or female, bags on seats or spread legs - people SHOULD know better than to do this.  It's a bigger issue - not simply rudeness...rather entitlement.  They are entitled to have more space than you because they got there first.  They are entitled to lean on the pole, squashing your hand, because you didn't think to lean on the pole instead.

It is rudeness.  People are not entitled.  The little bumps count. 

People do try to a certain extent - we try to act like gas molecules - allowing for the maximum distance between oneself and the next molecule.  But some people simple could care less that their actions/lack of action has an effect on those around them.

Remember the herd mentality too - no one, and I mean no one, likes the unstable isotope that upsets the herd by acting out or being the lone wolf.  It draws attention and causes tension in the other animals in the zoo that is New York City.

[mcdirk]

I'm very amused by the idea that they may want to be shoved - I'd never thought of it that way.  It's maddening that they stand right where people have to go to exit the train.  I wonder if someone came up with some sort of subway/sidewalk etiquette guide if it would make any impact - maybe the papers could cover it and get people talking about it. 
I wish people would respect each other and their space on the trains, but I think it's been getting worse in the last few years.

[enigmacat]

I've wondered about that, and I've wondered why it would get worse, instead of better - and if we could put our finger on why it's worse, if we could find a way to make it better.

[Harlan]

I'm very amused by the idea that they may want to be shoved - I'd never thought of it that way.  It's maddening that they stand right where people have to go to exit the train.  I wonder if someone came up with some sort of subway/sidewalk etiquette guide if it would make any impact - maybe the papers could cover it and get people talking about it. 

The first rule of subway fight club is... don't talk about subway fight club...

There are posters from the MTA all over the trains that address all of these issues. Don't take up extra space, put your bag on your lap, let people off before you get on, move away from the doors on crowded cars. Doesn't seem to help all that much...!

[enigmacat]

Peer pressure might be what we need.

Or getting hot models to ride the subway and reward well-behaved folks by saying "I noticed how polite you are! Will you go out with me? I'm sick of all these cute and rich but rude people who keep chasing after me."

[essen]

I can't stand the leaners. It doesn't bother me if they just hate to sit and the train is empty, but I don't get why they insist on leaning on a pole when people are holding on everywhere. Sometimes they move if I just dig my hand underneath their back to grab the pole, and sometimes they don't.

Obviously a lot of people who take up way more space than necessary are willing to move when someone is going to sit next to them, but they hope to encounter as many shy people as possible who would rather stand than ask them to close their legs or put their bag on their lap or the floor. It's not just the subway, it's trians, buses, and anything else that doesn't have assigned seats. They just like to be the last resort, so people will take all the other seats first; but they will usually move when asked.

One of the sillier things I've witnessed on the subway is this one guy on the N train who decided to strike up a conversation with me. He was like "A beautiful woman for a beautiful day" and I just thought "here we go..." So anyway, he spent the ride from Ditmars to Queensboro chatting it up with me, and he was drinking one of those orange juice pints with a straw. He went to get out of the train, and he left his orange juice on the floor. I chided him for this, and he justified it by saying he's giving the people who clean the train a reason for their job. He was completely serious. What a thoughtful guy.  :roll:

[megc]

Well, despite all the problems regarding etiquette on the subway, I still love the trains, and the system is awesome in that it can get you so many places in NYC.  Of course, I'm still relatively new to NYC and haven't been hardened by the daily commute (although I did it for a few months).  Sure beats the public transportation in LA or SF!

[JustDesserts]

And it definitely beats the hell out of driving and sitting in traffic for hours.

But I feel all of y'all's pain about subway rudeness.  I haven't had as much bad luck as some of you folks, but a big peeve is the rushing onto the train before letting people out.  I, too, will then switch into bulldozer mode. 

Oh yeah, and I really hate it when people push past you while you are seated and hit you with their various backpacks, gigantic purses, packages, etc and although they realize they have done this by accident, say nothing despite your involuntary "Ow!!  Good grief, that hurt."

[MandaT]

I can't stand the leaners. It doesn't bother me if they just hate to sit and the train is empty, but I don't get why they insist on leaning on a pole when people are holding on everywhere. Sometimes they move if I just dig my hand underneath their back to grab the pole, and sometimes they don't.

Hrm, yeah, I do the knuckle-dig. Doesn't work well in the winter with it being you v. puffy coat, but any time this happens, I turn my hand on the pole so that my knuckles stick out and into their back - so at least there's a constant reminder there!

[tuesday]

I can't believe nobody has brought up the problem of men picking their noses on the subway.  This makes me get up and move to the other end of the car in disgust.

[JustDesserts]

My favorite - of which I was reminded just now on my way to class - is when two guys (it's always guys) enter the train together and they're talking.  There are loads of seats available, but rather than sit next to each other to continue the conversation, they sit across from each other and holler across the aisle over the noise of other people talking and over the noise of the train.  What is that?  I don't recall asking about the annoying woman in their office who puts her work on the other secretary's desk.

Another fun one is when the iPod toting youths have their music cranked so loudly that you can actually identify the song that's playing from across the train regardless of the use of headphones.  And what is up with those mini-radio-lookin' things?  So loud!!!

[merm]

I think all men should just be banned from the subway, that seems it would solve most of the problems here!  :-)

[mcdirk]

Hey!  Some of us men have to take the train to work!  We promise we'll behave!
The nose-pickers are really gross.  I saw a person clipping their toenails once and was in shock - they had their shoe and sock off, eeewww.
I've never understood people talking so loud that everyone shared their conversation.  I would think folks would want privacy.
There is especially bad karma for folks who bump others with bags and don't apologize.  That's really just rude.