Subway Love

[Astoria Luv]

Here you go, a website dedicated to the subway crush folks:

http://subwaycrush.com/

[jennifer]

Not a love story - but a meeting a guy on a subway story:

I was heading to Chinatown with 35 students (12 were my responsibility) as a chaperone on a history field trip.  There was a guy next to me reading a guide book.  I don't know anything about Chinatown and this wasn't MY trip - I was just an adult body suckered in to chaperoning... so... I said to the guy... "hey - when you're done with that section would you read us the section about Chinatown?"  That broke the ice - we started chatting - turns out dude is a Chinatown tour guide.  He had nothing better to do that day, so my group of 12 kids and I got our very own professional tour guide. We saw things the other groups didn't get to see - my kids won the scavenger hunt assignment - and our guide also splurged and bought dumplings for all the kids in my group.  All for a "Thank You."

The guy wasn't scamming me. Wasn't trying to hook up.  He was just enjoying the day out with a group of pretty appreciative 9th graders. 

My students were APPALLED that I would talk to a stranger on the train.  And shocked that he turned out to be a "normal seeming" guy with no evil ulterior motives. 

I talk to LOTS of people on the train.  Sometimes leads to a great conversation.  Once it led to a tour of Chinatown.  Sometimes it just leads to me cracking myself up.  Sometimes I think that I AM one of those crazies on the train that you're warned not to talk to.   But... whatever.... I believe in taking opportunities to make life more interesting. 

Moral of the story... you see someone you want to talk to... make it happen. 

Good luck

[Capibara]

one my friend met was from a Middle Eastern country - and maybe there was some cultural difference in communication. I've become much warier about talking with strange men on the subway after experiences like those above.

I think this guy may have asked me out too.  My friends & I were taking the train back from the Beer Garden.  He was confident, super cute, and seemed nice and sane enough when he started chatting me up on the platform.  While I was about to get off at my stop (my friends were still on), he asked how he could see me again.  I replied "oh, I'm sure I'll just see you in the neighborhood some time".  Just as the doors were closing, he jumped off.  I must admit that at the time, I thought it was kinda ballsy and cool.  My friends instantly started calling and texting me to make sure I was ok (they are good like that).  He wanted my number and would NOT take "no" for an answer (should have been my 1st clue to run).  I told him I'd take his number but would not give him mine, I had just broken up with someone and not really interested in dating yet.  Eventually I gave in and did give him my my number (big mistake).  When he called, I told him very nicely that I wasn't ready to date yet, sorry if I led him on by giving him my #, etc.  Over the course of 3 months, I had 20 voicemails/texts from him even though I never responded to any.  Lesson learned.

[newastorian35]

i think its totally fine, as long as you aren't creepy. asking what we're reading is the easiest way. its tough to be single again (i moved here with my ex), because it does seem like couplesville.  are we all going to meet up soon?

I wouldn't ask her what she's reading--I would be very annoyed if someone asked me that.  Women are frequently subject to unwanted male attention (random guys making comments on the street, when all we're trying to do is get to work or get home?) and the subway is the one place where there is that great unspoken rule that people don't talk to each other.  I'd say it's acceptable to talk to her if you're waiting on the platform, but make it a brief comment or ask her a question and see if she's responsive.  Responsive beyond a polite response that just about anybody would provide.  If she is, and you converse a little longer, see where she stands once you get on the subway.  If she remains right next to you, I'd say that's a good sign, but if she purposely moves further away or to another car, I'd say to leave it alone.  If you talk a little further on the subway, slip her your business card before exiting and say you're not in the habit of doing this, but you'd love to hear from her. 

[moodle]

iPods ruin everything!

There have been a few girls who I have finally mustered up the courage to approach, but they were wearing headphones. How does a guy deal with that?

You don't. It usually means "leave me alone."

While I'm normally someone who is totally up for chatting with strangeers, if I have my headphones on it usually means I'm wiped and dont' feel like being social. If I'm the only other person on a train and someone asks me for directions or something it's fine, but otherwise I probably won't respond much if someone tries to chat me up. Unless they are cute and say something totally clever. In which case I still probably won't be up for much engagement.

[enigmacat]

OTOH, my headphones just mean that I am trying to kill time and most of the time I would love to be asked about my book.

Maybe the rule of thumb is to make the first step and then don't push it if s/he is not receptive.

[dneedle1]

I've only tried it once, but I saw an attractive woman reading Ayn Rand, an author with very distinct views.  I asked her about it, we chatted for a bit, I gave her my business card.  Like 10 days later she e-mailed me.  We ended up going out for a few months and we're still in touch.  And I'm no Don Juan.  It can be done, but the subway is one place where guys really should take no for an answer.

[luna79]

Try posting at 'missed connections' on craigslist afterwards.   :-)

[brendagates]

I WISH some of the dudes I've seen looking back would speak to me. Mostly, what I get is either a creepy stare that results in nothing, or the dude just looks away as soon as he's seen that I've "caught" him.

[odenhal]

dam my 3 1/2 block commute, i never get to do the look away when I'm caught thing

[OnlyinNY]

I was reading this post yesterday thinking that I see a lotttt of good looking men on the subway, some of which i make eye contact with, and never talk to any of them. After reading these posts I got on the N at herald square coming home from Hammerstein ballroom and made eye contact with this cute guy. I saw that he kept sneaking peeks but i hardly looked back, just because its weird to have a stare-off with someone. Anyway he lost his chance to approach bc a woman stood in between us so we were no longer visible to each other and then he had to get off.
-- Start making conversation please!

PS this is my first post  :-)

[JeffSayYes]

I've only tried it once, but I saw an attractive woman reading Ayn Rand, an author with very distinct views...

oh yeah, anyone reading Ayn Rand wants to chat about it. Why do you think they put the name so big on the cover? http://www.fantasticfiction.co.uk/images/n6/n33891.jpg

[awwsheeet]

you should never judge a book by its cover or people by what they read but i wouldnt even bother approaching anyone reading an aayn rand book.

[JoeyC]

All a guy has to do is go from car to car, and say "excuse me, I hate to bother you, but if anyone can spare some change, even a quarter, a penny, anything, I would,,,,,thank you...blah blah blah.."        Then you walk through car, and sooner of later, some woman will ask you how you got to this problem, why are you homeless, etc.   There's your opening guys. Really, I see it once a week.
 :mrgreen:

[awwsheeet]

im shy as s___ but im not going to pretend im homeless.....just buck up and say hi...whats the worst that can happen, she wont date you?  she def wont date you if you just stand and stare....